


To Stand Beside You

by Ereana



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Crushes, Friendship, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 09:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2845730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ereana/pseuds/Ereana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where finding your soulmate is meant to be the best thing that ever happens to you Ennoshita harbors doubts. Surely not everyone is destined for a happy ever after? Still when he can no longer sense his own it's a blow; he still wanted to meet them. Life moves on and he's far too busy with school, volleyball, and keeping Noya from driving Daichi insane to worry too much. </p><p>If only he'd look at what's right in front of him</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Stand Beside You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kuroothighs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuroothighs/gifts).



Everyone had a soulmate. 

It was a universal fact that somewhere out there in the world there was a person who completed you. Incidents of unhappy couples, early deaths, and the complexity of human relationships and feelings were swept under the rug with an awkward cough. In general most people believed that finding your soulmate was one of the greatest things that could happen to you.

Ennoshita had never been able to fully accept that. A niggling doubt in the back of his mind which questioned the idea that simply meeting your soulmate was enough to ensure happiness. He remembered vividly his aunts unfortunate story; her soulmate, a man with a sweet temper and good heart but suffering from a dependence on the bottle that lead to a tragic car crash. A tale his aunt hadn’t spoken of again after his father had taken her aside for hushed words.

There were several different ways of finding you soulmate. Some more reliable than others.

A name scrawled across your wrist. A sentence running down your leg revealing the first words you would hear them say. One or two people had claimed to see a red string on their finger stretching off into the distance getting shorter and shorter until they saw the person on the other end. Colours suddenly exploding across a world that had been in black and white until then.

And those like Ennoshita who had the Pull.

He’d felt it for as long as he could remember, so his soulmate was either close to his age or older; a constant tugging in his chest. The Pull was something akin to instinct; you followed it until you found who it was pulling you to. It could be something as simple as choosing a restaurant to have dinner at. The Pull tugs even harder until you accidentally bump into the cute waiter trying to get past you. It was meant to help you find your own way to your soulmate and one simply had to learn how to listen to it.

Two things could happen when soulmates with the Pull found each other; the feeling would grow to an almost painful level before diminishing to a barely noticeable tug, a simple reminder of their soulmate that would disappear upon death. The second occurrence was rarer, almost unheard of so most people weren’t aware of it.

Ennoshita did not like the Pull. It was too imprecise, too random, and too instinctual for his tastes. He’d rather have preferred a name or first words; something tangible on his body that he could see with his own eyes. A definite sign rather than a feeling. He didn’t trust feelings, the advice he kept hearing to ‘trust his Pull’ always caused him to frown and place a hand on his chest where the tugging was strongest. Trust his Pull? How? By consulting it over every little decision of his life?

Logically he knew that he was still fairly young, there wasn’t much chance of meeting his soulmate so his Pull hadn’t needed to act up but he’d at least expected some change. Some alteration in the constant yanking would have been nice to simply show that it did change, that his soulmate was out there.

That it wasn’t faulty.

Then came the day. The day when he finally felt the Pull react.

It had happened during the first few weeks of middle school. The sun shining down on his still new desk as he frowned at a list of extracurricular clubs lingering over the sports ones; he didn’t really have many hobbies apart from playing with his dad’s video camera but he’d always been decent at athletics and he could always quit if he didn’t enjoy it. His eyes scanned down the list with a vague interest.

Hockey

Basketball

Baseball

Badminton

Volleyball

THUMP

Ennoshita bent over his desk, hand clutching his chest, as the reason for the feeling being called the Pull was made very clear. It was like someone had reached inside him, took hold of his heart, and then hauled him forward with as much strength as they had. The niggling little annoyance had grown fangs. He sat there for several minutes, blinking rapidly trying to calm his rapid heart, almost scared to look down at the word printed in small black matters which had turned his world upside down.

It hadn’t been wonderful. It had been terrifying. His body had been out of his control for just a moment but that moment was engraved in Ennoshita’s mind. The thought crossed his mind to refuse, to join some other club and rebel in some way against this force dictating his life. As if he could hit back at it for doing that to him.

Yet, despite his doubt over the ‘prefect happiness’ finding your soulmate was meant to bring and his resentment over the control it had over him he still wanted to meet his. As strong as his aunt’s story had ingrained itself in his mind there was also his parents’ story; a collision in the middle of the street, milkshake spilling over an expensive suit, stuttered apology, and subsequent wide eyes as the words written on their skin were spoken into the air for the first time. Twenty years since then and they had achieved the joy everyone hoped to get when they met the one. They worked hard for it though, and his mother had advised him not to see that first meeting as the end result but as the beginning it was.

Ennoshita hoped for something similar. So he’d joined the volleyball club. He hadn’t been very good at first and was probably only a mediocre/semi-decent player when he moved on to high school but by then he’d discovered an enjoyment of the sport. It was fun to stand on the court with your team and work towards victory. Something about spiking the ball hard on to the opponent’s side made him grin like an idiot, though it happened less than he would have liked. His team hadn’t been very good, winning one or two practice matches and rarely getting past the first round in tournaments but at that point it was still just a hobby.

His life had settled into a routine, one that, in general, he was happy with. Still sometimes he felt a prickling in his chest, a longing for something different, a disruption to break the routine. Maybe it was this wish which caused him to agonise so much after his first week at Karasuno high.

He stood in front of the gates and took in the sight of his new school. The faint shiver of nervousness up his spine was hurriedly pushed aside in favour if taking his first few steps on to the premises. It was foolish; nothing bad was going to happen to him on the first day.

“Hey look out!” Ennoshita’s head snapped to the left as a blur of black, blue, red, and orange charged straight at him. Sadly he only had time to open his mouth in surprise before said colourful blur hit his side with a frightening amount of force. The yelp was knocked out of him and he fell to the floor in a tumble. Whatever the hell had crashed into him was clinging on to his rolling body.

Blink.

The sky was a really pretty blue. A flock of birds passed by before being blocked out by the oddest looking boy Ennoshita had ever seen.

What was the matter with his hair? That couldn’t be natural. Why was his face painted orange? More importantly why was he sat on Ennoshita’s chest? The stranger was light but even so he liked being able to breathe.

“Wow that was close! Good thing you were here or that might’ve seriously hurt.” The voice and words brimming with energy, life, and a hint of chaos which set Ennoshita’s brain on high alert. As his mind slowly came to turn with his position on the ground worries about dirt on his uniform where put aside at the sheer oddness of the boy’s appearance sank in.

“Is that a blue lightning bolt?” Out of all the questions he could have asked this was the one that sprung from his lips; to be fair he’d not been expecting anyone to break the dress code this early on. Brown eyes grew wide before that grin somehow grew even bigger. Ennoshita felt embarrassed by the sheer joy this question seemed to bring.

“What’s your name?” The strange boy with wild hair didn’t move from his perch on Ennoshita’s chest and he wondered why he didn’t push him off.

“Chikara Ennoshita.”

“Chikara huh?” The casual use of his first name caused a long blink. “My name is Yū Nishinoya, but everyone calls me Noya!”

“C-Could you get off me please?” Those eyes narrowed for a millisecond, confusion and a host of other emotions flashing through brown at the speed of light. That overwhelming smile dimmed and the boy, Noya, scrambled off his chest.

“Eh, sorry about that.” Pushing himself up on his elbows Ennoshita couldn’t help the cough of disbelief at that; there wasn’t a hint of apology to be seen. He was reminded of a very hyperactive hamster his friend used to have, thing was a nightmare to look after.

Well, at least he could tell his parents he’d met someone interesting. 

As the week progressed he met more interesting people; a rather scary looking boy with a shaved head who preferred yelling to speaking, a tall second year who looked like he should have graduated already, and a boy Ennoshita had thought looked normal until he came up to the tall guy with a terrifying look on his face. He’d later learned that these two were a part of the famous Karasuno volleyball team.

The word famous tasted bad on his tongue, it tasted of expectations, old pride, and faded strength. He’d had a quick look through the window at their very first practice of the year and the coach, an old guy with a face of stone, didn’t look like the type to accept casual players. A look reflected in several of the members faces.

His current concern though was trying to figure out how he’d acquired a very loud energetic companion. Somehow he’d met Noya every day of the week and he was pretty sure that when the last class had broken up he’d heard the other boy call him a friend. It wasn’t like he disagreed with it or anything but it had caught him off guard. What kind of person could boldly declare you’re their friend after only a week?

Apparently Yū Nishinoya could. And similar to the blue lightning symbol he’d been wearing when they first met he was fast, unique, and something riveting about him which Ennoshita couldn’t, and didn’t, want to pull away from.

Then came the weekend. Then came the moment when Ennoshita was in his room sat at his desk, debating whether or not to join the Karasuno volleyball club. He knew his own level of ability and he did enjoy the sport but the face of the coach, that determination which seemed out of place in a club which hadn’t made it to nationals for years, rose up in his imagination. Would he have as much fun if that was the attitude? The only reason he’d started playing volleyball was because of the Pull….

Wait.

NO.

No. No. No. No. No. He had to be wrong.

With one hand shaking he pushed himself backwards the other clasped across his chest. Fingers digging into cloth and skin as he tried to find it. Tried to feel something to convince himself that he was wrong. Desperation, denial, and a dark terrible fear flooded his mind. 

His Pull was gone.

The tugging had stopped.

Hollow. His hand grasped for nothing. The link was gone.

1 year later

“Ennoshita! Did ya hear?!” Ennoshita looked up from his lunch to the familiar sight of Tanaka running straight from him. Surprisingly still wearing his shirt, it was still early in the year though. He calmly held up a hand palm facing out and resumed chewing on his sandwich. His teammate managed to skid to a halt before bowling him over, unlike a certain Libero who hadn’t learnt the meaning of the words stop, slow down, or you’re going to hit me. Speaking of which, he wondered if Daichi-san or Suga-san had managed to convince Noya to return, the gym was far too quiet without him.

“Hear what Tanaka?” He gave a small smile to his beaming friend, clearly whatever he’d heard was good news. Either that or Kiyoko had agreed to let him walk with her to the gym.

“Suga found his soulmate!” Ennoshita blinked. The smile became a little harder to maintain. “Man can you believe it though? Not even the first week and he’s found him.”

“Him?”

“Oh yeah, it’s Kageyama. Y’know one of those troublesome first years Daichi was talking about? They’re even worse than us.”

“By us I assume you mean yourself and Noya. Neither Narita, Kinoshita or I were the ones who completely wrecked the storage cupboard on the first day.”

“The floors were slippy!”

“So why were you two the only ones who fell?” He shook his head and turned to the more important matter. “Kageyama. As in Tobio Kageyama? The ‘king of the court’ setter from Kitagawa Daiichi?”

“Yep that’s the one. Came in early today, first words spoken to one another and bam! Ha, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Suga look so shocked.” Tanaka shook his head clearly replaying the scene in his head. Ennoshita could hear the happiness behind the teasing, they all liked Suga and to find your soulmate so early on was considered lucky. He made an effort to push down his own conflicted feelings down, making a note to congratulate Suga when he turned up to practice.

“Wonder how that’s going to affect the team? Might be a distraction having a pair of soulmates on it, both setters as well.” Actually thinking about it more it wasn’t going to be a smooth road; Kageyama’s talent was well known in the area and Suga while an incredibly hard worker was no genius. They needed an only one official setter and Suga was meant to fill that role this year.

“Well to be honest he might not even be allowed on the team.” Tanaka’s grin dimmed eyes flashing with concern for his new kohai.

“What?” Why would Daichi turn away someone of Kageyama’s skill? Their captain was ambitious despite how well he tried to hide it. Unless…

“Kageyama couldn’t get on with another first year Shoyou Hinata, and neither of them listened when Daichi told them to stop.” That made much more sense. “But they’ve got a chance to redeem themselves and I’m going to help them like the good senpai I am!”

“You’re already attached to one aren’t you?” He listened with one ear as Tanaka loudly responded to the rhetorical question, his mind on a more urgent matter.

“And Noya?” Tanaka’s mouth snapped shut into a tense line, hands clenched at his sides.

“Says he won’t return until Asahi does. He’s been suspended too.” Ennoshita let out a sigh, he’d heard Noya say that too, but he’d hoped it had been a bluff. Something to taunt their ace into returning, not leave an even bigger hole than before.

“We’ll have to hope he returns then.” He throws his rubbish into a nearby bin. “Come on then. You’ve got history next and I’m not going to help if you fall behind again.”

“Eh! But you always help Ennoshita?” Ennoshita started to walk off leaving his panicked friend behind raising a pleading hand in his direction. “Ennoshita!”

XX

The new first years were loud. They were troublesome. They were stubborn. Ennoshita could see them fitting in easily. After the initial trouble Kageyama and Hinata had found a way to work together, and wow did it pack a punch.

Some of them were very good.

Crisp evening air ruffled his hair as it blew by. There was no point in worrying about that now. For the moment he had a spot as a regular and if he did lose it well…

He’d just have to work hard to reclaim it.

Quitting wasn’t an option. Not anymore. Even without the Pull he had reasons to play. 

Last year had been tough. The disappearance had shaken his world to pieces. His parents had been frantic trying to figure out what had happened. There was one obvious reason for it to vanish, it connected him to his living soulmate and if something had happened. His mother suggested another possibility; while usually the Pull only increased when you met your soulmate there had been one or two unique cases where it had disappeared at first only to reappear once the soulmates were together. She thought that maybe someone he’d met on that first week might be-

But he didn’t think so. No-one in that week had come forward to him as his soulmate and he couldn’t remember what day it had vanished. Plus several of the people he’d met didn’t have the pull. Tanaka had a name on his calf, one he proudly showed off to anyone who would look, Asahi had a name as well, Suga had first words, and Daichi apparently could see a red string stretching far off into the distance.

Noya had first words too.

Honestly, it had been an accident that Ennoshita had even seen them. An embarrassing one too. Noya had been at his house for a study session, which eventually devolved to Ennoshita glaring at his friend until he sat head bowed at the table learning English verbs. He’d let him stay the night and after setting up the camp bed had gone to brush his teeth.

His bathroom lock had broken.

The bathroom had not been empty.

Amidst the yelping, spluttering, blushing which he swore was from the amount of steam in the room, and retreating he’d caught a glimpse of black words along a strong slight thigh. He hadn’t seen what any of them said but it was the familiar soul-script found on other people’s bodies. He’d forced Noya never to speak of it again, a remarkably easier task than he’d predicted. Noya had still been pink when he’d exited the room, hair wet and dripping down his face. Ennoshita had feared he’d tell it to their teammates as a funny story but the Libero had been almost eager in swearing to silence.

“Hey Chikara!” Speak of the devil. He didn’t bother to hold up a hand this time, only dug his feet into the ground as a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. “I haven’t seen you in aggggggges.” The last word drawn out in a whine as Noya continued to hold him, but Ennoshita was not in the mood for this.

“Maybe that’s because you were suspended.” Tight. His voice felt tight and he wanted to take back the words as soon as they’re said. Noya’s arms slackened and he pulled away eyes dark with stubbornness and guilt. Ennoshita’s apology is already on his lips because he hates when Noya looks like that, conflicted isn’t a good look on him.

“I’m so-”

“Don’t be.” The grin is back if a little weaker than normal. “You’re right of course. Suspension does make it hard to see you guys. How is everyone?”

“Fine, pretty sure Tanaka’s going to get punished soon for whipping off his shirt every hour.”

“That sounds like Ryu.” Without a signal they both started to walk towards the centre of town. Noya’s quick steps easily keeping up with Ennoshita’s longer ones. “What about Hisashi and Kazuhito?”

“They’ve got a bet going on over how long before he hits someone in the face with it.” A burst of laughter was the response and the tension from before seeped from Ennoshita’s shoulders. He really hated arguing with Noya over serious things.

“Daichi-san wasn’t impressed. But he’s pretty happy with the new first year members.” He blurted out the last part one eye on Noya as they turn the corner. The streets still hum with quiet activity but Ennoshita still caught the slight hitch of breath at the mention of the club.

“What are they like?”

“Insane.” Another laugh, so loud to come from such a small person but it fits him so well. “One of them kinda reminds me of you. I think you’ll get on pretty well with him.”

Noya stopped walking. His eyes will be closed, mouth a thin line and hands clutching at his trousers.

“Chikara…”

“One of them is Suga’s soulmate, even though they’re so different they like each other already. Suga’s eyes keep going soft when they see him. Daichi’s starting to tease but I wouldn’t be surprised if he dragged the poor boy away to give him the best friend shovel talk.”

Noya snorted and walked up to his side again. “Best friend shovel talk?”

“It’s a thing. The ‘he’s my best friend and I will kill you with a mop if you hurt him’ talk.” Noya simply shook his head, as if Ennoshita was being the ridiculous one for once.

“You’ve watched too many romance movies that doesn’t happen in real life.”

“So shovel talks don’t exist but soulmates do?”

“I guess.” It’s always confused him, how low-key talking about soulmates makes Noya. His eyes lose that vividness of life and there’s something almost uncaring about him. It sort of reminds Ennoshita of his own attitude but to see it in Noya was disconcerting. Surely if there was anyone who would get overexcited about soulmates it was Yū Nishinoya.

Ennoshita’s house came into view and he started to dig in his keys. The damn things moved around his clothes he’d swear to it.

“I’ll see ya later Chikara!” One final big grin before he turned to go. Words leap to Ennoshita’s mouth and he shouts them out without thought. 

“Come back to the club.”

Noya stopped but didn’t look back.

“It’s not-” he sighed trying to find the right words. We need you. It’s not the same. I’m sure Asahi will come back. None of them felt right. “Please think about it.”

The street is somehow silent, even the street cats are sleeping. Nothing but the two of them.

Noya’s head nodded once before his feet took him forward.

Ennoshita closed his eyes and hoped. The court was too quiet without the endless calls of ‘rolling thunder!’ bouncing off the walls. There was a gap at the back, a vulnerability that only one player could fix.

XX

He was not ignoring Noya. He really wasn’t. It’d just been a very busy first few weeks. The match against Aobajousai. The new coach and training schedule. He was currently trying to help Hinata improve his receives though that was proving a challenge. Plus he’d been asked to help shoot a promotional recruitment video for the drama club which had taken up the rest of his free time.

The eyes on his back don’t affect him in the slightest. 

Any irrational feelings of hurt at Noya leaving are long since gone.

That was what he told Daichi and he stuck to it. The net in his hands was being more unwieldy than normal and he frowned when a section of it spilled out of his grasp

“Do you need any help with that?” Startled he whipped his head round; sometimes he forgot that being loud was a choice for Noya. He could be unnaturally sneaky when he needed to.

Two pairs of eyes met across a tangled net. Not quite an apology. Nor an ask for one. An acknowledgement more than anything else.

I was hurt when you left

I didn’t want that but I had to do it

“No thanks. You’ll probably make it worse, and I don’t have time to untangle you before practice starts.”

“What! I’m perfectly capable, give me that Chikara!” Ennoshita laughed and managed to swerve out of the way of Noya’s tackle. There was a crash, a yelp (which Noya declared later was a manly cry of attack to a laughing Tanaka and giggling Hinata) and a yell from Daichi about what on earth they were doing in there.

Ennoshita felt like this year would be a good one.

XX

Oh shit

That was what most players were thinking. Ennoshita was only one of many staring at the two captains at the head of the line. Daichi’s mouth was half open, eyes blown wide with shock and the Nekoma captain didn’t look much better. This was not how the fated match between the old rivals was supposed to start, although the old Nekoma coach looked like he was about to burst out laughing.

There really wasn’t much doubt about what had happened either. Not many things “It’s you!?” could mean especially when the person was staring at their own finger in shock. Daichi had frozen at those two words before a “Y-You!?” had slipped past his own lips.

Soulmates.

Daichi’s soulmate was this tall captain from Nekoma with hair even more questionable than Noya’s and oozing just as much confidence. Confidence which seemed fairly false when he tried to relax back into his shrugged posture, and the smile had a subtle tremble to it.

“So is this the part where I compare your eyes to the stars in the sky? There aren’t any stars at the moment but there are some fairly interesting clouds.”

Ennoshita could almost feel Daichi’s temper rise. Noya and Tanaka were giggling somewhere and Narita was smiling with his head turned to the side.

“No thank you. We have a match to play or have you forgotten?” Challenge and annoyance fought for dominance in their captain’s voice.

“For a moment, yes. But let’s go. Shall we?” The red captain held out a hand, Daichi’s glare could probably ignite half of Japan at this point. Troublesome seemed like a pale word to describe this guy. As if the match wasn’t interesting enough before.

It turned out to be a great match. Though Asahi still looked a little rusty Noya was back on form. They lost but it was fun. It looked fun. Would it have been as fun to play? His fingers itched, his feet fidgeted in place, and he could feel Suga next to him shouting encouragements but still longing to step forward. That didn’t make his yells of support any less genuine, he wanted them to win. He winced as that last point was scored, Noya’s hand reaching for it and he knew, he knew the Libero would be beating himself up over it.

At the end he, along with everyone else apart from Hinata and Tanaka, silently watched the two captains say goodbye. There was grudging respect in Daichi’s eyes and the Nekoma captain, Kuroo he thought the name was, looked almost gleeful. He wasn’t close enough to hear what he said that caused Daichi to turn bright red and retort with something awfully close to a stamped foot. Heat appears at his life and he looked to see Noya standing next to him.

“Daichi-san’s going to have his hand full with that one.” He said unable to stop the smile as their responsible reliable captain tries to crush his soulmates hand.

“That guys really tricksy I tell you!”

“Tricksy?”

“Yeah! Looks like he should be in a bond movie stroking a cat.”

“So you did watch them after all.”

“Of course I did! You said they were good.” Ennoshita scoffed to hide the pleasant warmth bubbling in his stomach. Really, who needed a soulmate when he had friends who made him feel like this? “Bet ya Daichi gives him his number.” He looked over to the two captains, still holding hands, Daichi’s face alive with competitiveness, frustration, and a little bit of childish joy when Kuroo winced.

“I’m not going to take that bet.” Especially when Kuroo took hold of Daichi’s finger and stared at it, presumably seeing the red string which was their link to one another. Ennoshita looked away at the look he didn’t feel was his to see; soft, disbelieving, relieved and happy all at once.

Finding a soulmate was meant to be all those things.

Good thing he refused too when three weeks later Suga finally gets Daichi back for teasing him by pointing out that Daichi seems more attached to his phone than Hinata recently. The protests fall on deaf ears as redness washes over his face and Suga happily walks away to give Kageyama pointers on serving to the second years. Noya meets his eyes across the courts and shrugs, but amusement dances across his face in a way Ennoshita is sure mirrors his own. 

XX

It’s odd how even though he hadn’t played at the inter-high the stakes felt higher this year. They’d gotten further than last year for sure, and Datekou was defeated. The iron wall crumbled under the battering ram of Karasuno’s new offensive. It had been incredible and the usual yearning to join was tempered by the raw emotion on the third year’s and Noya’s faces: redemption.

Aobajousai High was out for their blood. Oikawa was not a player they could fight with anything less than their best. Nor was he the only excellent player they had. But they’d won before. It wasn’t impossible. Adrenaline was already pumping through his veins as he looked for the nearest vending machine, they had some time before going on court and he’d volunteered to get Kiyoko, sensei and the coach a drink. He finally spotted one at the end of a secluded corridor and hurried towards it. Even though it was unlikely he would play he wouldn’t take the chance of missing the warm up.

“Would you stop looking at me like that?”

So maybe not so secluded. Ennoshita pressed himself beside the machine and looked round. Surprise choked him. What the hell were Wakatoshi Ushijima and Oikawa doing back here? Whatever the reason he was so out of his depth right now.

“I don’t understand what you me-”

“You’re a very poor liar Waka-chan.” Oikawa’s tone was acidic, more so than when he had spoken to Kageyama (Suga had looked about two seconds from dragging their setter away if Daichi hadn’t placed a hand on his shoulder). Ennoshita couldn’t bring himself to peek out at them, terrified at the thought of being caught by the two powerhouses.

“Oikawa-”

“No! You don’t get to say my name like that.” He closed his eyes and prayed for deafness anything to not hear the highly personal talk he in no way wanted to be a part of, even silently. 

So he didn’t see the flare of anguish in Ushijima’s eyes, the vindictive gleam in Oikawa’s or the delicate swirls of black on the setter’s wrist spelling out a name.

“I…” A sigh, weary with far too much resignation for a teenager to have, passed his lips. It’s the same path with them, broken remnants of a glass vase Ushijima had managed to shatter before he’d realised it; shards dig into his skin with each barbed word, each hate-filled look, each failed attempt. How could he apologise when he didn’t regret what he’d done? He’d never regret playing Oikawa with his full strength. Innate knowledge that not playing at his best would earn even more scorn and anger.

“Eloquent as usual.” He stared at him. The setter dressed in light blue with a sneer on his face and eyes that-eyes that can never be easy to read. At least not for him. Yet Ushijima’s heart still yearned. He still wanted to reach out knowing full well he’d only be rebuffed each time. Because of the name. The name written eloquently on his chest, over his heart, which tied him to Tooru Oikawa in a way that couldn’t be denied. Despite the setter’s best efforts.

The good luck turned dry on his lips.

“I’ll see you in the next round.”

“Oh? So you think we’ll beat Karasuno?” It’s spoken in that jokey tone which Ushijima despises because it’s always edged with venom when used towards him.

“Yes.” Absolute certainty. As firm as the floor beneath their feet. For a moment, not even a second, the malice vanished. A glimpse of what he desperately wanted. 

Ennoshita saw none of this as he edged back round the corner with his hands in his ears. This would be something to either take to his grave or recount in twenty years to his children as one of the most terrifying moments of his life.

XX

They’d lost. Noya felt numb. The park he was sat in, beautiful as usual, bustled with life around him but he felt detached from it. After the team cry at the restaurant he just felt very, very empty.

He raised his hand to his face, the tool of his position a thin barrier between victory and defeat. Calloused and worn after so many hours of practice. If he’d been able to save one serve more, one spike more, if he-

A hand clamped down on his head and he nearly sprung forward in shock.

“You’re thinking too hard.” Calm, collected, a hint of irritation. Noya managed to smile and shift over on the bench. A weight settled next to him.

“You’re way too sneaky Chikara, nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Well better than a head injury after worrying so much.” Normally Noya would be happy to spend time with his friend. Chikara was probably his best friend after Ryu. This wasn’t a normal day and guilt fell heavy on his shoulders.

“I think I have a reason to worry this time.” He yelped as a whack to his head had him curling up on his seat. “What the hell was that for?”

“There’s still summer training idiot. The third years are going to stay and there’s still a shot for us to reach nationals. Save the moping till then. It doesn’t suit you.”

“I don’t know. Think I make it look kinda cool.”

“Only to Hinata.”

“I’d be happy with that. Hey! You don’t think I looked cool just then?”

“No.”

“Ouch.” Chikara sighed and looked up at the sky, Noya took a moment to take in his friend’s appearance; relaxed, serene maybe a little too amused but not heartbroken, not resentful of his chance to play being taken away.

“I’ll need the time to improve anyway. Next time.” Noya watched as he licked his lips and when he spoke his words thrummed with the determination and will power Noya knew would make him captain next year. “Next time I’m going to stand on the court with all of you.”

“Yeah, yeah you will.” He looked so confident and sure that it kinda took Noya’s breath away. Chikara had never acknowledged his own strength, feeling forever tainted somehow by his decision to leave in first year. Strength which Noya needed when everyone turned to him for support and rallying cries. Noya wanted to stand beside him in a real game, watch his face go through the emotions both good and bad that playing volleyball produced.

He’d wanted to stand beside him for a while now.

Worde flashed across his vision, words he’d traced his hand over many a time when he was alone. Stretching around his upper thigh in a loop.

Is that a blue lightning bolt?

Chikara didn’t have words or a name. Noya wasn’t sure what he had or if it was somehow only him that was connected. That he’s been cheated out of his soulmate. The lack of reaction at their first meeting hadn’t boded well.

So he thought he could settle for friendship.

Except the longer it went on the less satisfactory friendship felt. Noya wanted to reach out and hold. Reach out and touch. 

When?

He’d take the risk eventually he knew that much.

This year?

Chikara wouldn’t cut ties with him over it, that much he knew.

Soon.

It would be worth the leap.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Christmas gift fic for a friend of mine with some of her favourite pairings. I may do a sequel, I'm not too sure yet. It still feel awkward for me to write these two because I've not done much with them before but I do love this ship. It was getting too long for me to fit everything in but I'm happy-ish with the end. Hopefully you've enjoyed the read!


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